"What's the bad news?", asks Lyle."The bad noos is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena." Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Lyle. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.2. The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.She's 25, and her name's Candy.3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50.It completely spoiled our 10th. That was a wonderful lie she had just told as it was me who had said stop shaving. In fact I have given her an order and she had made an excuse to her friends. She will pay for that one as I put it to the back of my mind and took hold of the tweezers and started pulling individual hairs out from round her cunt.After a while I had worked up a small pile of hairs and my hand was working too hard.So I had her fetch a couple of candles matches a hair brush and comb and had her lay down on the floor in front of me between my legs on her shoulders with her back tight up against the sofa , her legs up in the air and her cunt just about level with my seat. So that when I looked down I was looking into her cunt with her tits and head below.A bit of a strained position but I was happy sitting there with her cunt just in front of me nicely wide open and ready for use.I set off nicely by running the hairbrush through her pubes and as she had ben shaving then for 20 or more years then the new.
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